Today I had my first session with a new therapist. I’m writing this after our first meeting (over Zoom, of course) and my overarching feeling? Relief. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. As someone who has dabbled in counselling and therapy before, I know just how beneficial it can be. And it got me thinking…why are we so afraid to admit we’re seeking out help when it comes to our mental health?
I went through my teenage years completely numb to my own feelings. I wasn’t even aware of ‘mental health’ or ‘self care’, despite studying Psychology. It was only after my first ever counselling session (through my university, after being on the wait list for 3 months – the NHS wait list is even longer, hence why so many doctors resort to prescribing medication for anxiety/depression so quickly) that I started to gain some self awareness around my feelings and where they ultimately came from. I am so grateful to that counsellor who helped me to see that after years of negative self talk, my self worth was at an all time low. It was the first time I didn’t feel completely crazy for feeling this way. I felt seen and heard and validated. She helped me to start piecing it all together and see that there were things I could do to improve my mental health and feel better.
Unfortunately, each student was only allocated 4 sessions with a university counsellor due to them being so high in demand (again, why more resources should be allocated to therapists and mental health in general!) but the progress I made in the short amount of time we spent together was truly invaluable to me. This is what turned my relationship with my mental health around and got me interested in how to really look after myself. I started reading books and listening to podcasts about health and wellness, I started practicing yoga and meditation and following people in the field who inspired me.
3 years on and I’m still fascinated by how we can continue to improve mental health globally. I’ve learnt so much and continued to develop practices that work for me and make me feel my best, both mentally and physically. But in my opinion there really is nothing quite like talking things through with another human, a therapist – no matter what you’re going through. Attitudes towards mental health have improved in recent years. There is definitely more of an honest conversation around it starting to open up online and people are starting to share their stories more (like me) and prioritise their mental wellbeing.
However, I still feel a stigma around admitting to ‘being in therapy’. One other person besides me and my therapist knows that I had a therapy session today(until now, obviously!). I’ve been too ashamed to tell anyone. Previously when I’ve mentioned having ‘counselling’ to people, I’ve watched their eyes glaze over with fear and pity at the mention of the word. People suddenly start treating you like an injured animal, backing away from the ‘wounded’ one. But seeking out help is a way of actively healing those wounds. Admitting that you need some help or clarity to improve your mental health shows bravery and self awareness. It’s a sign of not giving in, of flighting back and knowing that you’re worthy of facing your personal struggles and overcoming them. It’s not something to be feared, it’s something to be celebrated. And we should be able to talk about it openly without anyone batting an eyelid.
Also, having therapy doesn’t necessarily mean you’re on the verge of a mental breakdown. I’m actually in a really good place with my mental health at the moment, but I’ve just been feeling the pull to continue my personal development with the help of someone else recently, so I sought someone out. A friend once said to me that you should start therapy when you’re feeling well, so that you’re prepared for the times when you don’t feel so well – as are the ups and downs of life. I think there’s definitely some truth in that and I actually don’t think I know one person who wouldn’t benefit from a good old therapy session! It’s healthy to talk about our experiences and explore them, whether you have a specific issue around your mental health or not. It feels great to get your thoughts and feelings out in the open in a non-judgemental space and I, for one, think more people should seek it out.
I’m not saying it’s a fix for everyone, of course everyone is different and people have different needs. But I do think having therapy should be more normalised and less taboo. Finding the right therapist or counsellor for you and your specific needs is also super important and not always an easy task, but when you find someone you resonate with, it can be so powerful! If you’re reading this and thinking that you might have something to gain from having therapy or even if you’re just curious, I encourage you to do it! Taking the leap and investing in your own health and happiness is one of the best things you’ll ever do. Having therapy is nothing to be ashamed of and it doesn’t make you weak. I look forward to a future in which going to see your therapist is as easily accepted as going to see your brow lady!
anxiousgirltravels 